So I've finished my time in Scenic and I'm now about to move into costume. I had mixed feelings about scenic. Having spent time I feel has given me things, particulary talking with Gary was particulary valuable. The work I did in scenic didn't really imrpove my understanding of the work that scenic does or help me with design but I felt talking to Gary did and it's good to have someone there with that amount of knowledge that you can go to for advice. I think thats the thing that'll I'll take away from scenic, the need to find out about how things are done and what is possible. Workwise again I felt very unsuited to the job and found the days really slow. The job that the scenic guys do takes alot of dedication but I think they must get a satisfaction from their work that I wasn't getting. I think it comes down to my personality once again. I can sit and do a life drawing or a picture of a stupid plant or something and I could spend ages and do it nice but I wouldn't have any sense of satisfaction when I'm finished. I don't know why that is. Art was supposed to be my best subject at school but I found it slow, however, when drawing things that are for a design created in my head or something I'm thinking up I find it theraputic, exciting and I get a real sense of satisifaction at the end of it. So in scenic when I was making a linoleum effect using paints I found learning about the process and how to do it interesting but at the same time I don't think I would be happy to do things like that full time either.

I'm moving into costume this Monday. Quite aprehensive if I'm honest. All I've heard from the others who've already been in that department is good things however I've got a feeling I'm going to need valium by the bucket load to stop me getting stressed at my lack of ability with sewing etc. I dunno why I get so stressed and irritated by daft things. I'm chilled most of the time but stuff just winds me up so quickly. It's not good but I think it may be inherited. I'm going to have to just try and chill and not get wound up.

Little Miss Anderson bought a DVD of Hoffman which I tried to watch but I totally could not take it in. I find it hard to concentrate on movies for any length of time nevermind an opera. I'm quite concerned about this actually because while I like classical music I really don't like opera music, especially the way it's sung. It does my box in to be honest. However I think designing for opera would be amazing. I'm doing the redesign for Hoffman at the moment and while I actually like the tune to the Barcarolle which had an influence on my design I worry that my inability to get anything from opera is going to affect my worth as a designer and my employability.

This has been quite a negative post but I think it's an honest reflection of my feelings during term 3. This has been a difficult term for me. Where in term 2 I felt an enormous amoubt of gain and satisfaction. Like I was on a journey through the design process that I was really enjoying and up for, in term 3 I'm trying to keep focused on the classes with bridget, the redesign and what is to come in the future as things to motivate me to keep going. The difference for me between the two terms is massive in the way I feel. I don't know if the mood I'm in affects the way i feel about the module or if the module is affecting my mood? I think it's probably the module affecting my modd because there have been times like when we had classes with Bridget that I have felt every bit of as keen and enthusiastic as I did doing the design project. I'm also enjoying the redesign so my aim is just to grin and bear it and get through this term and bring on second year.

Before I finish I need to address the matter of our poisionous little gossip columnist "Gossip Grant", seeing as my private life seems to be his favouritie topic for misconstruing. Honestly he thinks he's Carrie Bradshaw but, while she had unquestionable taste in shoes, some of the things he puts on his trotters say fashion victim more than fashionista. Anyway here's a little tit bit of gossip from the deepest darkest Southside; who's not getting any sex in any city Eastside, Westside, Eastcoast, Westcoast? . . . . . . . there's even whispers that this flamboyant member of the room 6 squad hasn't had any sex in any city. . .. .ever!