So that's the summer holidays finished and nearly time to start back for 2nd year. I can't say I'm not looking forward to starting back. Working full time in tedious employment all summer definitely make you appreciate Uni. Although I've been working in a kitchen all summer I've also been invovled in some other projects that I've really been enjoying and from which I think I've learned various things. One project I've been working on is simply trying to figure out Sketchup and while I wouldn't describe myself as anything other than shit using the programme I'm not quite as shit as I used to be so that's something. Technology is a worry to me still though because while I've grown to appreciate it's value I'm still not sure how to get a grasp on it. Having my own Mac will be helpful I guess but I'm still waiting for bloody SAAS to sort everything out. I want to get to grips with Photoshop and Painter and I don't find them impossible to use, Painter particularly. However I would like to learn about animation for projections. On a recent trip to London a visit to ENO showed what was possible with animation and projection etc and it was just spectacular. So I hope to continue to get to grips with these things as the course continues. With regards to model making. I've built a model box and set over the summer and didn't really struggle with how to make models but I did find working in scale entirely confusing. I think thats just something I'm stuck with. Anyway looking forward to starting back and quite excited about all that's to come in 2nd year.

First year is finito! That's bloody crazy. When I started I was almost twenty three and now I'm almost twenty five. However for a few weeks more I'm closer to twnety than 25 which is better than nothing. Can't believe how quickly this year has went in. It's been good for me. I think this is the first course I've been on that I've actually gotten a lot out of. It's given me something to focus on and made me a bit more responsible which makes me feel a bit boring sometimes but ultimatley it had to happen at some point. Bring on festival season and I'll be back on form however.

What does next year bring? Who can say. I think it's going to be tougher but probably even more rewarding. I'm excited about 2nd year. I'm going to be assisant designer on War and Peace the opera. I've heard of the book but wasn't aware it was an opera also. So over the summer I'll be finding out about that. Not sure who the designer is for that one. I'll need to enquire and find out.
2nd year is going to require us all to raise our game. Personally I have quite a clear idea of what I need and am going to do. I think my motivation is back up and feel back in the frame of mind I was in for most all of first year. I've got some challenges ahead of me that I want to tackle, especially computer wise but comparing myself to this time last year I'm much keener to work with computers and wanting to do something, for me, makes it a lot more likely to be come a reality.

Over the summer it's back to the hospital kitchen for me. Which will be good. I'm quite happy to discuss Big Brother, Katie and Peter and pop culture for a few months instead of the more refined tastes of the academy (excluding Grant obviously). Also spending a good few months not using your head in the kitchen makes you realise how lucky you are to be doing something you love when the course starts back.

Anyway need to go cos I'm going to be late for work and I'm not wanitng old rotten face (the supervisor, second name Goebbels!) spraying me with the usual verbal about punctuality.

Until next year . . . . . . . .

So I've finished my time in Scenic and I'm now about to move into costume. I had mixed feelings about scenic. Having spent time I feel has given me things, particulary talking with Gary was particulary valuable. The work I did in scenic didn't really imrpove my understanding of the work that scenic does or help me with design but I felt talking to Gary did and it's good to have someone there with that amount of knowledge that you can go to for advice. I think thats the thing that'll I'll take away from scenic, the need to find out about how things are done and what is possible. Workwise again I felt very unsuited to the job and found the days really slow. The job that the scenic guys do takes alot of dedication but I think they must get a satisfaction from their work that I wasn't getting. I think it comes down to my personality once again. I can sit and do a life drawing or a picture of a stupid plant or something and I could spend ages and do it nice but I wouldn't have any sense of satisfaction when I'm finished. I don't know why that is. Art was supposed to be my best subject at school but I found it slow, however, when drawing things that are for a design created in my head or something I'm thinking up I find it theraputic, exciting and I get a real sense of satisifaction at the end of it. So in scenic when I was making a linoleum effect using paints I found learning about the process and how to do it interesting but at the same time I don't think I would be happy to do things like that full time either.

I'm moving into costume this Monday. Quite aprehensive if I'm honest. All I've heard from the others who've already been in that department is good things however I've got a feeling I'm going to need valium by the bucket load to stop me getting stressed at my lack of ability with sewing etc. I dunno why I get so stressed and irritated by daft things. I'm chilled most of the time but stuff just winds me up so quickly. It's not good but I think it may be inherited. I'm going to have to just try and chill and not get wound up.

Little Miss Anderson bought a DVD of Hoffman which I tried to watch but I totally could not take it in. I find it hard to concentrate on movies for any length of time nevermind an opera. I'm quite concerned about this actually because while I like classical music I really don't like opera music, especially the way it's sung. It does my box in to be honest. However I think designing for opera would be amazing. I'm doing the redesign for Hoffman at the moment and while I actually like the tune to the Barcarolle which had an influence on my design I worry that my inability to get anything from opera is going to affect my worth as a designer and my employability.

This has been quite a negative post but I think it's an honest reflection of my feelings during term 3. This has been a difficult term for me. Where in term 2 I felt an enormous amoubt of gain and satisfaction. Like I was on a journey through the design process that I was really enjoying and up for, in term 3 I'm trying to keep focused on the classes with bridget, the redesign and what is to come in the future as things to motivate me to keep going. The difference for me between the two terms is massive in the way I feel. I don't know if the mood I'm in affects the way i feel about the module or if the module is affecting my mood? I think it's probably the module affecting my modd because there have been times like when we had classes with Bridget that I have felt every bit of as keen and enthusiastic as I did doing the design project. I'm also enjoying the redesign so my aim is just to grin and bear it and get through this term and bring on second year.

Before I finish I need to address the matter of our poisionous little gossip columnist "Gossip Grant", seeing as my private life seems to be his favouritie topic for misconstruing. Honestly he thinks he's Carrie Bradshaw but, while she had unquestionable taste in shoes, some of the things he puts on his trotters say fashion victim more than fashionista. Anyway here's a little tit bit of gossip from the deepest darkest Southside; who's not getting any sex in any city Eastside, Westside, Eastcoast, Westcoast? . . . . . . . there's even whispers that this flamboyant member of the room 6 squad hasn't had any sex in any city. . .. .ever!

Had a class with Bridget today. It was so good to finally get to do some design again. Obviously we have our design projects to work on but having had the class with Bridget I'm much more inspired about designing for Opera. Out of all the classes we've had I think this one has been the best for improving the way I approach a design. I came out of the class full of anticipation for the classes that we have coming up. Now considering the next class is computer based and I'm an infamous technophobe that really is saying something! I was so impressed with the quality of the drawings Bridget had produced I thought she had actually scanned them into the computer. Once again I'm realising how computers are an aid to your work and not a hinderance. On the whole the class has made me determined to raise my game. Working with the second years was really good because I felt there was a good dynamic amongst that group that would make you want to produce the best work you can.

After that I returned to the scenic department. I'm enjoying it more than props mainly for the fact there's plenty of work to be done and I can find a certain amount of satisfaction in completing tasks set to me just for what they are. However I still don't feel I'm cut out for the applied arts and I'd be lying if I said given the choice I wouldn't rather be doing another design project but I still think it's going to be a valuable experience and I'm quite content to work away and be involved in productions.

Talking to the Applied Artists who I'm familiar with I get a real sense that they can find designers frustrating and looking at some of the sources they are given to work from I can see why they become pissed off. If your designing something I guess it can become entirley clear how it should be in your head but the challenge is to make it clear to the AA's also. The only problem that would worry me with being too concise is that it might take all the creativity and challenge out of the job for the Artist.

Anyway I'm in a good mood just now so I think I might have a look at the life goals I set out with Jamie. I feel like a bit of an emotional nut job just now becuase one minute I'm happy and the next I'm raging I think it must be down to the fumes in the Scenic department. The cocktail of substances on the go can be over-whelming; shellac, turps, meths; all very addictive!

Went into uni this morning and did a bit of research online but to be honest I don't find the IT suite a good place for getting work done so I decided to work from home in the afternoon which was more productive. I had a look at the libretto. It's a bit of a nuisance having to work from the computer but my printer is out of ink at the moment. I had to take the libretto onto Google Translate to read it in English. It's a good tool to use but some of the meaning seems to be lost in the translation which can make some of the descriptions of sets etc somewhat confusing. However I'm starting to get some idea of the story and some design idea's. The scale of an opera is quite daunting but I need to remember it's only a part of it that I'm required to redesign. At the moment I'm getting tied up with a theme for the whole production and how each scene could look. I don't think that's a bad thing as such but I need to remeber to keep my focus and not get too drawn into the whole thing at the expense of what I'm required to do. I also have to remember to keep on top of the essay aspect of the module. It's easy to get distracted by the design parts but I've got to make sure I put in as much effort in both area's.

I've been listening to the music from the opera on youtube and I was surprised to find I recognised some of the pieces. It was a bit of a shock to my inner philistine. The only problem with Youtube is that you see other productions which I don't really want to do. I want to keep my mind free from other influences at the moment until I've got my own understanding of what the opera is about.

Anyway that's me for today. I've got an idea of some things I want to enquire about tomorrow and what I want to be doing.

Well that's the first two weeks of Term 3 finished. It's the first time I've posted in ages. I think it was a case of that I was finding Props a bit slow and was struggling a bit to have anything to say. However it did improve a bit by the end and I got into it a bit more when doing the plates. It's a shame though because due to circumstances I don't think we really got an idea of what working in props would really be like. One thing I did learn when watching the AA's working is the importance of giving clear information on things you have designed to be made. I can understand why AA's can get stressed out and pissed off about things design related.

It's early days in the different departments so I'll need to wait and see how I get on but I have a feeling I'm not very suited to Applied Arts. So far I haven't found it as fulfilling as doing design but again that could be down to not having much to do in props other than paint plates and put latex on cord.

We had life drawing again on Friday there. It's weird I love to draw and find drawing theraputic but life drawing and still life I find so difficult to get into. It get's me stressed for some reason. The funny thing was that when we had our break I was so wound up from the life drawing that I went up to room six and sat and worked on a picture I had been drawing and that really chilled me out. We did get to work with inks which was quite cool though. I think I might bring in paints and start doing life paintings instead of using pencil and pastel because I actually don't find that as draining. I also tried to channel my agitation into my work but it just looked like shit to be honest. I know I used to be able to do life drawings better but this year I can't seem to get anywhere. Not been good at things is something I don't particulary like but I have to get over that and just get on with it.

On a postive note we're getting to work on design projects next week which I'm really looking forward to so hopefully things can only get better.

Well that's the end of term 2. It's so frightening! Time just flys in. I was reading an article by Tony Parsons and he was saying how when your 10 a year is a massive amount of time because you've only lived for ten years but as you get older you've lived for so many years that comparitivley it seems like a smaller amount of time and continues to do so the older you get. How depressing. I think I might be suffering from a mid 20's crisis! Anyway I guess I better make effort to give a decent comment on the past term seeing as this is my last blog of Term 2.
We had the class meeting on Thursday and I was quite aprehensive about it as I felt if we all were in the room together that things were A: going to become quite heated and B: descend into everyone having a go at one person. However some people didn't bother to turn up and a situation like that was avoided. I don't think that was a good thing particulary because it meant that the problems that do exist weren't able to be properly adressed. Six of us did attend and I think we did manage to sort out a lot of things and hopefully there will be noticeable difference in the class in the third term. A lot of the problems discussed regarding attendance and attitude in the class where things that I felt weren't having a massive how I got on with the course. If people don't come in I don't feel like that it makes it more difficult for me to work than if they do but I do like the atmosphere when we're all in working togther. In the week leading up to the presentations i felt like there was a good, focused buzz about the place which isn't there always. Sadly there were problems that we weren't able to resolve and so although we can try and make a fresh start, in reality, if things aren't addressed and dealt with it will is going to have a negative effect on doing so and on the whole class. Maybe I'm being a big woman and making too much of a deal out things but I feel there are times in class when I have been lied to and I then feel angry, uncomfortable and have had to walk out of the room. Since the meeting the situation with the lies has continued exactly as it has done, it appears, since day 1 back in October so I don't see any sign that this will change, making a fresh start difficult. One suggestion that has come up is that the class might be rearranged. Obviously I don't want to move as I have personalised it and am comfortable working there however Jamie was right when he said it's not fair that some people have big desks and others don't. Moving desks is fair enough if it brings an improvment to the class but if it an effort isn't made to actually improve and if the space isn't used properly then it will have been for nothing. However if I have to switch desks then I can try and make the most of wherever I end up and bring in stuff from outside that will help me utilize the space I have been given to work in. This is such a negative post to end the term on and it shouldn't be because I've really enjoyed working on the design project and feel like I got something out of Term 2. Everything I've been moaning about are issues that, naturally, have arisen but I don't feel like anything is having a major impact on how I feel about the work we're doing. I'm enjoying it and feel positive about the work coming up in Term 3. Over the holidays financial problems will probably limit what I get up to but I can't complain because I'm having a lap top bought for me which is so good. If I get one during the holidays I''ll be able to spend time working on it and using photoshop etc. I'm also going up to Skye for a week which is going to be good. We go up every year but it's good the way it's come about just as we've completed our projects. Being up there will give me a lot of time to work on stuff because the nearest pub or shop is miles away, hence the detox! I think I'm going to do some work on costumes as I am starting to enjoy the costume design side of things and I realise you don't have to be a fashion guru to design costumes, as any visit to the costume department makes clear! Ha ha sorry couldn't resist a wee bit of end of term bitchiness. I need to do some research into Opera as well because I'm totally ignorant of this area. Right well I been typing this for ages and think I've said everything I wanted to say so that's me. Sianorra!